Memories & New Beginnings
It's been over two years since I ended my very first blog. It was a very bitter sweet experience for me, but I felt that with everything that was happening at the time, I wasn't able to truly find passion in what I was doing and the things I was writing about. Let me explain.
When COVID introduced itself the world things changed for most people, our options were limited and we were stuck inside. However, for me nothing really changed. As an immigrant, I wasn't able to find a job and despite the fact that I was married, I never felt comfortable asking my husband to for money to go out, especially since living on one income in Florida was so difficult already. Needless to say, I was always stuck at home. I felt helpless and fell into a deep depression that I just couldn't get myself out of. I honestly tried to make myself appear happy to everyone around me, but I always felt like they knew I was going through a rough time. Still, I kept blogging. I kept pushing myself even when I felt like I had nothing interesting to say to the world.It wasn't until my dad died that same year that I finally gave up. I couldn't do it anymore. I felt broken and I needed time away to work on myself. You see, my family took a lot of hard blows that year. First my grandmother passed two days before my birthday and less than a month later my dad was admitted to the hospital. He tried to play it off as simple back pains, but you will never understand how I felt when my family called me to say that the doctors wanted us to prepare for the worst. They said he would never leave the hospital. I've never been so terrified in my life. My dad, my rock, the person that always comforted me when I was sad and protected me when I was afraid, he was dying and I wasn't able to see him at all during that time. My dad died alone in the hospital that December and I was stuck, unable to travel because of paperwork. In that moment, I was angry and ashamed. I couldn't even lay my own father to rest. It was all too much for me to deal with so I stopped writing. I needed time to process everything and come to terms with everything I was blaming myself for.
Introducing my new blog
Now, I finally feel ready to share myself with the world again and start fresh with a new lifestyle blog. I am officially writing my first post on March 31st, 2024. Yes, today is Fathers' Day ad I thought it was the perfect time to start my new blogging journey. I won't be sharing this post for a few months, but for some reason I felt inspired to start writing today. I wanted to at least share some of what I have been feeling during my time away from blogging.
To everyone that has gone through or is currently going through anything similar to what I did, I want to encourage you to take time to yourself. Don't force yourself to push through things you aren't ready to face yet. Talk to your friends or family and if you really need to, try therapy. Your emotional and mental health is important and it is okay to admit it. Remember to love yourself and all your faults too.
